November is over and anyone who was watching my NaNo meter knows that I totally failed. And I’m okay with that.
Normally, failure is my least favorite thing. I grew up a competitive swimmer and playing hard core tennis and basketball. I like to win. I like to succeed. I hate losing, even when I know I’ve given it everything I have. I hate losing even more when I didn’t really try. Which all led me to wonder why it doesn’t bother me in this particular instance.
First, I had to look at why I failed NaNo this time. I actually wrote a couple thousand words on a couple different occasions. On a couple different projects. That right there is the reason I failed. I wasn’t sure going into November what project I wanted to work on and I changed my mind a couple of times throughout the month. Which meant I wasn’t focused–a key element in winning NaNoWriMo.
So if lack of focus/clear goal was the reason I failed, why am I okay with that failure? The more I thought about it, the more I realized that there have been other times when I’ve been okay with losing. Each of those situations falls under one of three categories of what I’m calling “Times It’s Okay to Quit” (which is not something I normally advocate).
1. Wrong Focus
Like I said, during NaNo I didn’t really know what I wanted to work on. Could I have forced myself to finish one of the three ideas I was juggling? Probably. But it would have been painful and the end product would have been in sorry shape. (That happened to me during last year’s NaNo, in which I drafted my fourth chick lit book without having finished the third. Once I finished the third, I realized I had to completely rewrite the fourth. Waste. Of. Time.) So rather than finish something that isn’t right, or force something that isn’t working, sometimes it’s better to walk away.
Warning: Make sure that you’re putting on the brakes because something is really wrong with the project, and not just because:
a. writing is hard
b. you’re in the sagging middle
c. your characters keep going off script
All of those things make me want to hurl my laptop into the nearest incinerator, but those are things you have to work through as a writer. Only put a project aside if you’re really not ready for it.
2. Adverse Effect
If something you’re working on is causing a negative effect on you, your life, or your other projects, maybe it’s time to step away. If writing a book about a painful, personal topic is messing with your mental state in a serious and/or dangerous way, you should stop. Take a breath. When I started my First Fifteen challenge (wherein I would write for fifteen minutes first thing in the morning) I thought it was a great idea. I even wrote a couple of short stories and started another awesome project. But I quickly realized that after doing a First Fifteen I felt accomplished for the day. Which meant that I didn’t feel a driving need to do anything else, whether it was answering email or blogging or writing more pages. In the end, I decided that I was actually being less productive. In favor of getting more done, I quit the First Fifteen challenge. Any time something you’re working on is hurting other, more important, pieces of your life, should seriously reconsider the project.
3. Personal Crisis
No, I don’t mean you got a bad haircut or your boyfriend broke up with you via text or you just don’t feel “in the mood” today. I don’t mean your agent/editor/critique partner shredded your latest pages and you don’t have the will to write on. Those are times when you put your butt in the chair and start slamming words onto the page.
You can’t wait for inspiration.
You have to go after it with a club.
~ Jack London
On the big scale, I’m talking about serious, life-altering/life-disrupting personal crisis. Like when my dad passed. Like when I had to evacuate Hurricane Ike. Like war or swine flu or anything that makes you want to shut out the world and curl up in your bed for a month. At those times, putting projects on temporary or permanent hold is justified.
On the small scale, this could also mean times when you’ve exhausted yourself or have stretched yourself too thin for too long and your health is at risk. I’m usually worthless for a week after deadline because I’ve usually spent the week before deadline working crazy hours, getting little sleep, and generally not taking care of myself. I need that week to rest and recuperate, so I have the physical and mental health to move on to the next thing. Sometimes you have to take time out today so you can fight again tomorrow.
So there you have it, my list of “Get Out of Jail FREE” and don’t beat yourself up cards for stopping, quitting, or otherwise giving up on something. I’m mostly discussing these reasons in terms of writing, but can also apply to other aspects of life.
Note: These are my personal TLC-approved reasons, and yours might be entirely different depending on your life and situation.
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